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ACT 3, scene 1

KIMBERLY
There're a lot of things I've never told you. I've been scared of you I guess. You can be pretty scary person when___

DEANA
It's not my fault___

KIMBERLY
Please - if I stop now I may never... See, things were fine - or they had been for the most part when I came here - to the school. My courses went well - I'm going to be Army medical - anesthesiology - or I was. I come from that - I mean there are bunch of military in my family. So I was in the ROTC (pronounced ROTSY) program at the med school - I mean I still am... Officially... I've always been afraid to tell you about me being ROTC and all - a lot of people find the Armed Services ridiculous___

DEANA
I never said I thought___

KIMBERLY
But you're probably right... So last April - you know, last year, my period stopped for a couple of months - I thought I was pregnant. Well, this doctor, the one at the clinic where I went for my test - the pregnancy test - when I told her I hadn't been active, you know, sexually... She looked at me funny... My belief system. I remember when the doctor asked me about that - she used those words "belief system" - and I remember thinking ‘what a strange way of saying something'. But you know coming from where I came - it wasn't something that people did. And it was pretty scary but.. My ‘belief system...' I started to look at it. So Dr. Widener - I always thought that was a good name for her... But I found out that lots of what had been going on for a couple of years wasn't really so normal - my thoughts and whatnot. And... Well, I had lost a lot of weight - which my mother liked... But anyway - they put me on these pills. And they did seem to help - especially at first. My father noticed. He said that I seemed... I can't remember the word he used exactly but I remember laughing when he said it. My parents are very sweet. I'm sorry that I've caused them so much pain.

So it was about six months ago... I had come out a session with Dr. Widener - I just like saying her name - and I was on my way to a ROTC meeting... So I was crossing the Upper campus and that's when I saw the sign for the audition - the audition for ‘PENAL EYES' - and something made me wonder what that was - or what it meant - the words. And I had never really acted. I mean I was in the chorus of KISS ME KATE in high school and... I did pageants for a while - I hated it but my mother - she's so pretty ... Anyway I went in and someone asked me if I was here for the audition and I looked at her and said ‘yes'... I had no idea why. It was like I was suddenly not in control of myself. And I'm always in control of myself. It's how I was brought up. And when I went in to meet you - something happened... It was like it was happening to me - and I was filled with this... I remember reading in the Bible about the visitation of Mary by the Holy Spirit and... Well, it reminded me of that... That feeling. And that's when I stopped taking my pills... And I haven't taken them since. Because when I was with you - it was like I had met you before - I can't describe it any other way. It was like I'd always known you...

MICKEY
Familiar eyes. She had familiar eyes...

The WOMEN ignore him

KIMBERLY (to MICKEY)
But I just love being around you... Around DeeAnna - I like that name better - That's how I see you - not this Deana thing... I thought we were like best friends. I mean when you came to me that night after that thing happened with that Randall guy I was so happy - I mean not that he did that to you but that you'd talk to me about it... But after that you started avoiding me... I miss you and I just wish you would tell me what I did wrong... Because I can fix it up - I'm a very resourceful person... I mean it's hard to find people who can be really good friends and I just don't want to mess this up... Why did you stop talking to me. I know I talk all the time, and I laugh too loud, and I smile too much____

ACT 3, scene 2

DEANA
You didn't do anything wrong.

KIMBERLY
But then why won't you be my friend anymore?

DEANA
It's... I've got a lot of things going on___

KIMBERLY
I'm not trying to pressure you___

MICKEY (to DEANA)
Was she talking about Randall Gadd?

DEANA (to MICKEY)
Oh Christ, I don't really want to get into that___

KIMBERLY
I'm sorry - I didn't mean to say anything___

MICKEY (to DEANA)
Did he do something to you?

DEANA
I said that I don't___

MICKEY
If he did I'll____

DEANA (to MICKEY)
SHUT UP!

MICKEY
Because I may be washed up as a___

DEANA (to MICKEY)
JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!

KIMBERLY and MICKEY watch DEANA

ACT 3, scene 3

KIMBERLY
I'm sorry...

DEANA looks at KIMBERLY

DEANA
Listen, I've really wanted to talk to you but... It's just been too... See, I've always been a very... I suppose you'd call me a very proud person. My mother told me when I was a little baby I wouldn't let her tie my shoes... And I couldn't do it - but I would act like I could and then I'd fall down all day - but I guess I didn't care... And I've always been like that.

PAUSE

DEANA
I don't know... I think there's point in a person's life when you finally see that what you're like... I mean, I always felt that I was going to be somebody... somebody important... I'd always thought that... I remember when I was in grammar school when somebody'd or the teacher would make me feel bad I'd want to say, "You'll be sorry when I'm famous..." I know it was stupid but it kept me going.

PAUSE

DEANA
But I really believed that I was going to be somebody... And I guess everyone goes through this - it's just been really hard for me... To realize that it's not going to happen for me... I mean I was sitting in the editing room - it was really late - I was by myself... And I was looking at the stuff we'd shot and I don't know why it happened right then... But I looked up at the screen and I suddenly realized I would never be great at this - I might be good but I'd never be great... And I know people go through things where they get discouraged but this wasn't like that... It was almost a pleasure... Like a relief to know it was over... To know that I'd never be another James Joyce or Chekhov or Mahler... I mean I know it sounds really ridiculous when you say it but I used to feel that I would do something important like that and people would look at me and... But that night I really saw that that would never happen...

PAUSE

DEANA
And so I went home and went to bed and... I lay there... in the dark... And I suddenly heard my voice say out loud, "What's going to happen to me now?" And I feel like that all the time now... "What's going to happen to me now?" It's just that I thought things would be different...

PAUSE

DEANA
And you just seemed like you needed so much... I mean you're a great person but there's... I can't do it for you... I mean I can't do it for me.

PAUSE

DEANA
I just want someone else to worry about me for a while - and I don't care how that happens... I just want someone to take care of me... Just a little...

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