ALTERNATE 3  (alternate 1 / 2 / 4 / 5...)

CHAPTER 3  (Chapter 1 / 2 / 4 / 5...) 

If Bill had known his pancakes had been dosed he probably would not have gone along with the next the stage in his 'treatment'. The fact that the staff had been putting Tralixatrophin in his food since his arrival (actually his wife had put it in this coffee the morning of the intervention) was kept from Bill until he was at the Hills nearly three weeks. And by that point so much had happened that, looking back, he couldn't tell what was drug induced and what was 'natural'. And now that he'd gotten 'involved' with Trudy he wasn't doing much looking back.

Trudy arrived at the Hills in the week following his induction, but she had blended in so effortlessly and seamlessly that he always thought of her as having been there before him. She was a Special Ed teacher from New Hampshire whose husband had left her the previous summer for a younger woman. Trudy had bravely trudged on after this betrayal but cracks in her facade had grown to fissures within months and when her breakdown came no one could say it wasn't unexpected. The final implosion took place during a production of Les Miserables at Boston's Shubert Theater (Trudy had told the administration that she was taking her 'C' group to psycho- motor therapy but then drove them out of state in the school's minivan to see the play, clearly in violation of school guidelines). During the play's execution scene she leapt to her feet and screamed, "This indignity will not happen on my watch!" She then charged down the center aisle and jumped up onto the stage. Of course her kids followed her like chicks after the hen, headlong into the ensuing fray. When Nathan Lovander, the 63 yr. old Shubert theater security guard, attempted to restore order, the Hoxie twins (they actually weren't twins but their severe Mongolism made it seem so) got him down on the ground and broke every bone in his left hand, all twenty-three. They were then attempting to suffocate him by sitting on his head and chest (an old trick they learned back at the Perkins School for the Blind in Watertown) when the Boston Police arrived and saved the old man. A lawsuit of major proportions was avoided when the Shubert, not wanting any more negative press (the Boston Globe's headline of GEEKS GO WILD was hardly good for theater business), settled out of court for undisclosed monetary damages ($85,000) and a promise that Trudy would be dismissed.

During Trudy's first intensive group session someone had asked "why Les Miserables?" She had answered that her ex- husband had gone down to Boston on the pretext of seeing the play with out-of-town business contacts the previous summer but had instead had gone to a hotel with his mistress. When asked why she didn't bust up the hotel, she said that she'd read the reviews of Les Miz and all the critics agreed it was a fabulous production - she would have hated to miss it. Our hero, Bill, was so taken with her when he heard this story, he immediately struck up a friendship.

The sexual angle didn't surface until a few weeks later.

And it wasn't until Family Session that Bill actually admitted his ‘involvement'. Bill's wife, Andrea, had come down for the day to see Bill and participate in a couples therapy with Dr. Rosner. Rosner was one of the founders of the Hills and he had worked closely with most of its clients during his twenty-year tenure. It went something like this:

ROSNER
So how has your week been?

ANDREA
Should I begin?

ROSNER looks at BILL who shrugs

ROSNER (to ANDREA)
Go ahead, Mrs. Henderson.

ANDREA reacts to ‘Henderson' - ROSNER notices

ROSNER
Go head, Andrea.

ANDREA
Well, things at home have been going... Well, we've adjusted I think pretty well considering...

ROSNER
Considering?

ANDREA
I guess... well.. this has been a big change for everyone - the kids especially - you know, without Bill there.

ROSNER
Go on.

ANDREA
And so, I don't know... It's been good and bad.

ROSNER
What's been good - what's been bad?

ANDREA
Oh, I don't know. The bad - well, we all miss Bill. It's just not the same without him.

ROSNER
Would you like to tell Bill that?

ANDREA
Sure. (to Bill) We all miss you, honey.

ROSNER
Did you hear that, Bill?

BILL
Uhuh.

ROSNER
How does that feel? To be missed.

BILL (smirking)
I'm tingly all over.

ROSNER
Why don't you tell us where you're at, Bill.

BILL
I don't know. It's been an ‘adjustment' for me too. Being committed like this. Oh, fuck it...this is all so stupid. Why don't we just say what's going on here?

ROSNER
What's going on here, Bill?

BILL
Nothing... nothing.

ROSNER
Really. You seemed to have something you wanted to say.

BILL
No, I just don't know why I'm here.

ROSNER
How has it been?

BILL
Compared to what?

ANDREA
I heard you met someone here, Bill.

BILL (blushing)
Met someone? What is that supposed to mean?

ANDREA
It's OK, Bill. I understand.

BILL
What's OK?

ANDREA
You've come here to do what you need to do.

BILL
And what might that be?

ANDREA
Oh, Bill. This is not easy for me. I'm really trying here.

BILL
Uhuh... Right.

ANDREA looks out the window as her eyes fill with tears

ROSNER
What are you feeling, Andrea?

ANDREA
Oh, just a lot of crap - I'm thinking about movies I saw when I was in college and... I don't know - it was... (she begins to cry) I'm sorry...

ROSNER
Do you have any idea what Andrea's talking about, Bill?

BILL
Not really.

ROSNER
What is it that you don't___

BILL
And what's this shit about me meeting someone else here.

ROSNER
Is that shit, Bill?

BILL
"Is that shit, Bill?" Of course, it's a total load.

ANDREA
Oh, Bill.

BILL
What?

ANDREA
You don't have to do this. It's OK. Whatever you do here is OK. If you meet someone and you have sex or fall in love or whatever - it's OK. I give you permission.

BILL
You give me permission! What is this? Some way of getting yourself off the hook.

ANDREA
Oh, no, I'm on the hook. I'm totally on the hook and it's starting to pull my insides out if you really want to___

ROSNER
Bill... Andrea. Let's try for a moment to look at where we are today. And what that means.

BILL
I'm stuck in this fucking place.

ROSNER
Does that mean you want to leave?

BILL
Of course I want to leave.

ROSNER
Is that OK with you, Andrea, if Bill comes home.

ANDREA
Well, yes... I mean, if he really wants to come home. We'd like him back but...

ROSNER
But what, Andrea?

ANDREA
Well, I really want him back. But I just don't want ‘it' to start up again.

BILL
What do you mean, ‘it'?

ROSNER
What don't you want to start___

BILL (to ROSNER)
Oh, please do you have to do that - repeat every fucking thing? I mean do you have a monopoly on stating the obvious?

ANDREA
Bill...

BILL (to ANDREA)
What do you mean about ‘it' starting again.

ANDREA
I need YOU, Bill. I want you. I don't want what you think I want - I want YOU.

BILL
Right.

ANDREA
You aren't hearing me. I don't think you even know what I'm trying to say.

BILL
Well, give me a chance.

ANDREA
You aren't ‘Bill' anymore. I mean something happened along the way and you got all caught up and I want YOU - whatever that is. And I don't think you know anymore.

ROSNER
Is that true, Bill?

BILL
Geez, what a weird question? Am I me or have I become something else?

ANDREA
Oh, Bill, you don't even know.

ROSNER
What about this thing with Trudy here?

BILL
WHAT THING WITH TRUDY!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

ANDREA
Bill, it's OK.

BILL
What's OK.

ANDREA
If you need to___

BILL
You've already gone through that. And... OK... I met this girl - this lady. Oh, Christ, I sound like some stupid soap opera or some shit here! God, can't I have a female friend? Is that so crazy?

ANDREA
Doctor, I don't think this is going anywhere.

ROSNER
Andrea, this could take time.

ANDREA
If I could see any sign - any crack in the facade.

ROSNER
I think you have to be patient.

BILL
Hey, I'm sitting right here, you know! (BILL waves his arms)

ANDREA and ROSNER look at BILL who gets to his feet and starts to dance around the room

BILL (sings)
I'm the little white duck,
Sitting in the water
The little white duck
Doing what it oughta___

ANDREA stands up

BILL dances over to her

ANDREA
Don't, Bill.

BILL
What?

ANDREA
I have to get back.

ROSNER (he stands)
I understand.

BILL
Oh, I want to understand too!

ANDREA heads for the door

BILL
Oh, come on. I'll be good.

ANDREA
It's not a question of good, Bill.

BILL
Andrea, I really want to come home. I miss everybody so much. I'll be OK. It'll be like it used to be. You'll see. Please. I shouldn't be here. I'm sorry about everything.

ANDREA
You don't get it, Bill. I'm sorry.

BILL
Christ, I feel like Jose Ferrar in THE SHREIK! Come on, Andrea, don't be June Allyson.

ANDREA goes out the door

BILL
Nobody liked June Allyson after she did that part - even when people found out she was married to Dick Powell. Nobody gave a shit. And look at her now.

BILL tries to follow - ROSNER blocks the door

ANDREA walks away down the hall

BILL
She's selling diapers to drooling oldies who don't remember THE SHREIK. But if they did, they'd wet their pants before they'd buy those damn diapers. (he screams past ROSNER down the hall) DON'T DO THIS TO ME, ANDREA!

PAUSE - BILL walks away and slumps into his chair

BILL
How'd you think the session went?

ROSNER just looks at BILL

BILL
That bad, eh? OK, OK, I can handle that. What's for lunch?

Bill watched Rosner cross to his chair and gather his notes together.

"Geez, what did I say?" Bill said as Rosner passed him on his way out of the office. Bill sat down for a few moments before he remembered that he had agreed to meet Trudy out in the arbor behind the cafeteria for lunch. He got up and rushed to the door. Halfway across the room he banged his leg on the low wooden table that Rosner used as an impromptu desk. Bill dropped to his haunches to rub his wounded shin. As he did he noticed a small piece of paper lodged in the cushion of Rosner's chair. He picked it up and read what looked like a pharmacy prescription. And his name was on it. And it was made out to Francois Landerman, chef for the Hills. He tried to read the name of the drug. He could only make out a few of the letters. He heard footsteps approaching from the outside hall so he sprang to his feet and limped out of Rosner's office.

End of Chapter Three

ALTERNATE 3

John Campbell

Jurgen Korduletsch

Marc Brazeau

Alternate Chapter 3

by John Campbell 

The group therapy continued for a while longer but Bill felt detached and uninvolved. Detachment was a familiar place for Bill, a natural reaction to the confusing unpleasantness of everyone's' demanding needs. He was not aware of when the group dispersed but suddenly he found himself outside the building, blinking his eyes in the sun and wondering what would happen next. Up till now his life had settled firmly into a mundane familiarity that had grown quite comfortable. But the shock from the events of last night and today was now turning to a growing sense of anger that was filtering up from his guts, making him feel queasy. He began to regret eating so much this morning and he regretted even more to always caving in so easily to everyone in his life. It was depressing.

He wandered over to a low retaining wall near the side of the CONNECT building to where a eucalyptus tree provided shade from the summer's heat. Why had he agreed to come here? Why had he not demanded to know more

about what they were so concerned about in his life? Was he truly dead to those around him? He knew he wanted more than anything else to have everything be OK again. He wanted desperately to have order in his life. The kind of order where he did not have to think too much and be afraid, But now everyone around him was conspiring to push him into their reality. He felt lost and powerless.

The teenager with black rimmed glasses, Clark, was loitering near the entrance of the building but everyone else had scattered. Bill was beginning to think they both had been abandoned by the rest when the sound of movement behind him caused him to turn. Sonya was approaching him and Ronnie was heading off to the building where the cafeteria and main offices were. They had obviously been in discussion only moments before. As Sonya approached Bill felt the fuzz of confusion descending upon him.

"Bill, do you want to go with me over to the rec-center?" asked Sonya. "I can introduce you to more of the staff and you can meet other participants."

"I'm rather tired. I think I would rather lie down in my room."

Sonya face became troubled. "You'll be staying in a dormer with the men now."

Bill was stunned. "A dormer? Like a barracks where everyone is in one room?"

Bill had never cared for locker rooms, public bathrooms, and group sleeping arrangements. If anyone was present in a public bathroom he could not relax and he would be forced to fake any excretory process, leave in embarrassment, or wait until they left. The thought of sleeping in a room with many people filled Bill with dread.

"Why can't I keep the room I slept in last night?"

"That is not how our program works."  

"here at the Hills we believe

John Campbell

click HERE to email the author

Chapter 3
by Jurgen Korduletsch

Bill glanced nervously around the room, and finally decided on his attack ploy."Alright lets get right to the point of why I arranged for you to meet me here at The Hills."

"Avoidance will just not work anymore so let's face facts, you are all very sick. I am sorry but we will have to address each problem individually. Your mental baggage will be left behind, right here. From now on you will no longer carry around your paychological shit, and you will now carry literal shit instead.You will each be issued standard 333 foot by 200 foot canvas bags. When you go to take a dump you willplace your deposit into the bag. Please use your own bag, and not your neighbors."

"Excuse me,a voiced cried out from the middle of the room, who died and made you king? " I am glad you asked that, because from now on, the old Bill is dead. He made me king. You will all kneel and address me as King Vortmach king of the former Bills."

"Yes, my leige,came the voice of the 16 year old Cynthia. I will serve you in any way that you see fit"."As will I,"said he identical twin sister Laurel. "You can count on me, for if my sisters believe in you, then so do I" said the 14 year old Marianne. "What would you have us do?"

Bill looked at them, in their baby dolls, and said the only thing that came to his mind."To make me feel fantastic, you will go outside and plow the back 40 acres. Together you will build me a Barn, and while your at it go into town and buy me a 1955 Chevy." He knew he had them now. Boy, were these people ever dumb.

Jurgen Korduletsch

click HERE to email the author

Chapter 3
by Marc Brazeau

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. Bill was back in his room. He was turning that phrase over in his mind. That was it. That was the diagnosis. Or the complaint. The complaint that everybody had with him. That was the best he could gather. The best that he could piece together. Nobody had said it - right out - but that was what he thought it was. He knew he had heard the phrase before and now somehow, without knowing exactly what it meant, he knew that it was there, just behind their comments, their pregnant questions and meaningful piques. That was it? "emotionally unavailable?" He kept turning it over like a pen with no ink or a coin of some foreign currency brought back to the States and now worthless. What the hell, no ... what the fuck did that mean and how could so bland, so unassuming a phrase have put his job, his livelihood, his marriage, his connection with Dylan and Shawn all in jeopardy?

He tried to plod through it, to trace it back to something he could get a handle on. What did it mean? How could it wreak such disastrous results? He started by thinking about it in terms of himself. As the source of this phenomenon, he knew only that he was always emotionally available to himself. As far as thinking of what the consequences of this phenomenon on others were, he knew only that for himself, he had never noticed anyone else to be "emotionally unavailable", never had his feelings hurt because he felt that someone was "emotionally unavailable", never wanted to break off his relation with someone because they were "emotionally unavailable". Well he was "emotionally present" right now and he wanted to tear somebody's fucking head off. Or cave the side of their head in with a lead pipe.

He was tired - drained. He peeled of his clothes off, turned off the light and climbed under the covers of the institutional double bed to sleep. He tried to get comfortable under the sheet and the one grey wool blanket which, he knew wasn't going to stay tucked into the bottom of the bed. Under the fitted sheet the vinyl cover of the mattress creaked as he shifted.

This wasn't going to work. His mind was fevered. He turned on the light and got dressed again. He paced a minute and then decided to go out to the common area.

Nancy and Clark were playing Ping-Pong. They were listening to some passably good music that Bill had never heard on a tunebox . He sat down on the old couch and started leafing through last year' SEX ISSUE!!! of Details magazine. Nancy and Clark were blathering about something or other. Details was blathering on as well: an article about herbal sexual enhancements - one herb gave the author of the article harder erections but made timing a problem, another enhanced his sexual prowess sometimes but not others and then seemed to stop working altogether, another did nothing for him but made his girlfriend mean as a snake, another seemed to heighten sensation in a vaguely psychedelic way but then gave him anxiety ridden dreams, another turned his girlfriend into a gyrating carnal octopus, while causing his own genitalia to slip into a coma, after reviewing over a dozen herbs and tinctures he couldn't unequivocally endorse any of them; an article about a circle of successful porn stars - the group profiled turn out to be smart, engaging and appealing with only minor and endearing neuroses; an article claiming to be about what women find sexy was actually about what they don't - profuse ear and nose hair, it turns out is a big sexual turn off as are abusive drunks and the chronically unemployed; an article about new developments in the business of sex - investors are pouring millions into multimillion dollar strip clubs in places like Atlanta, Dallas and Toronto; a lot of people are using the Internet to masturbate.

Bill scanned the shelves behind him: Milles Bourne, 1000 piece puzzle of a garden in

England or France, Stratego, Funk & Wagnalls "K-L" and "O-P", Field Guide to Birds of the Pacific Northwest, some early 80's National Geographics, Exodus by Leon Uris and Stephen King's Tommyknockers. Bill decided to try to listen to Clark and Nancy and maybe even participate in "the discussion." Another session of "group" that afternoon had revealed more about Nancy and Clark, though he wasn't specifically sure about why either of them was there. Clark kept talking about falling back into "old behaviors" though he never said what any of them were and Bill wondered how a seventeen year old kid could have "old behaviors", then he thought about Shawn and stuff about her that bugged him and some of that stuff seemed pretty old. Clark had taught Bill one of the main rules of the group room: " Don't kill ants." An ant had crawled up onto Bill's shoe. He took his forearms off his knees, leaned back in his chair, crossed his leg, putting his left ankle on his right knee and squashed the ant with his index finger. He was watching it squirm around in its death throes.

"Don't kill ants."

"Huh?" Bill looked up.

"That's one of the rules of the room. Don't kill ants. No crosstalk, show respect for others, no hats, no food, no sunglasses, feet on the floor, don't kill ants."

"Oh, okay." Bill was smiling and bobbed his head to assent.

In some ways he was a pretty sharp kid, but he always went for the easy answer, the neat summation. He liked to listen to himself talk and those are habits of mind that facilitate talk for talk's sake.

Nancy's bent of mind was a little more likeable to Bill. She seemed to be really caught between a need to sympathize and empathize with others and a sharp, flashing anger. That anger ricocheted around the room bouncing off of the floor, the ceiling, Nancy, the chairs, Howard, the window, Ronnie, the plant, Bill, the table, Clark, the lamp and once more off Nancy for good measure.

"Did you see Independence Day? He was good in that."

"No. Did you see him in Spaceballs? He was awesome in that!"

"Yeah. Did you see Lost Highway? That was the best!"

"Yeah, that was killer. Did you ever see Cold Feet?"

"No. He totally saved "While You Were Sleeping."

"Hey, Bill wanna play?" Clark caught the ball in one hand, planted the other with the paddle on the table and turned to face Bill.

"Oh no...thanks...I'm fine, I'm happy watching."

Nancy chimed in, "Come on, play a round with me.

"Yeah, play Nancy, she's wore me out." Clark held out the paddle and ball in each hand and stepped towards Bill.

"Oh...no...really...I don't think I could really even keep a volley going. No thanks."

"Well the sooner you can - the better. This is pretty much it for entertainment here." Clark pushed.

"Come on." Nancy whined coquettishly.

"Alright...alright." Bill took the paddle and ball from Clark and turned to face Nancy. He noticed how thin her neck was. How lovely her throat and collarbones were. He popped a straightforward backhand serve down the middle from left to right, which she handily returned to his forehand on his right. He gingerly returned it up the right hand line to her backhand. She popped it back down the line and Bill shot it past her on the left-hand corner with wicked topspin. A smile curled into the corners of his mouth. Bill had lied about his ability to play Ping-Pong.

TO BE CONTINUED....

Chapters: 1 / 2 / 4 / 5....

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